Hi, I'm Ally! I am an educator, yoga teacher, and Clinical Sexologist. I combine nervous system regulation, somatic work, and sex coaching to help adults with chronic conditions lead thriving intimate lives. Check out my services page for more information on sex coaching sessions, somatic intimacy and wellness coaching packages, date nights, self-love happy hours, and more!
I coach from a place of understanding and knowing what the trenches feel like. As someone who has experienced a lifetime of chronic pain due to vulvodynia, psoriasis, and IBS, I understand the challenging emotions associated with these conditions:
Life, connection, and intimacy doesn't have to be this complicated!
After dozens of failed treatments, surgery, medications, and disability permits, I was depleted. Eight years ago, my nerve pain became so severe that I could no longer orgasm or wear underwear or yoga pants, because the soft touch of clothing against my vulva was unbearably painful. Getting out of bed felt impossible, let alone dating, sex, or living my purpose.
I started educating myself on the body/mind connection, and I learned that I was constantly trying to work against my body, rather than with it. Through coaching, movement, sex re-education, and learning how to regulate my nervous system, I slowly reclaimed my life. I went from being unable to walk down a sidewalk without searing pelvic pain, to becoming a competitive salsa dancer. I went from avoiding sex and relationships, to experiencing deep connections, love, boundaries, and a rich sensual life.
My lifelong experience with chronic pain made me realize that we are tremendously under-resourced when it comes to helping others understand their own capacity for pleasure. I never want anyone to feel the same isolation and confusion around identity, intimacy, and connection that I felt while navigating sex and life with a chronic condition.
After nearly a decade of project management in public health and nonprofit education, I quit my job to pursue a career as a Clinical Sexologist and Intimacy Coach.
My research and personal experience pointed to the fact that we could not heal, grow, or experience pleasure until we felt safe. I became educated on the power of infrared saunas, red light therapy, cold plunging, and lymphatic drainage as key components to nervous system regulation, stress reduction, and sexual wellness.
These modalities changed my life, and I knew I had to integrate them into my offerings for clients. I became certified as a Deliberate Cold Exposure (DCE) Guide and LightStim (Red Light Therapy) Professional, and I offer these services through the beautiful Worthy Self-Care Studio in Berkeley, CA. Come by for a visit!
My approach is to keep it real with my clients by keeping it real with myself. I don't believe in selling clients an idea that doing a certain treatment modality will solve all their problems, because in my decades of experiencing chronic pain, that's never worked for me.
However, there are ways to not just survive a chronic condition, but to thrive with it and heal, and that's what I love to share! There are tools to limit the frequency and intensity of flare ups. There are strategies to tap into unique pleasure points. I am not "fixed" of all my problems, but my health no longer caps my capacity for sexual expression, love, connection, and daily activities.
I work mindfully with clients to guide them in reaching this same sense of freedom.
One of the biggest lies we have been sold culturally is that we need to be healed of all our problems before we are worthy of a meaningful life. Chronic health issue or not, I have yet to meet a human who "figured it all out" before beginning to work, date, or leave the house. Love, sex, and intimacy are blank canvases we are constantly learning to paint on, and as your sex coach, I'm right there by your side as you discover ways to sexually flourish.
By valuing authenticity over performance, acceptance over control, and curiosity over "normalcy," I guide clients to tap into a potent, connected, euphoric form of intimacy that is seldom (...never!) expressed in porn or the media.
I share my story publicly so that my clients know that they're not alone. I deeply care about and CHEER for all of my clients. I can't wait to get to know you and your story, and stand beside you as you heal, grow, and thrive.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Copyright © 2023 Ally English: Intimacy & Wellness - All Rights Reserved.
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